Ladies and Gentleman, welcome to the second edition of Things I Have Learned In Spain:
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- Game shows in Spain are all almost all cloned from American or British shows, such as Weakest Link, Survivor, Wheel of Fortune, etc., with a few key differences:
o First of all, there is always a team of very scantily clad dancers in the background for no apparent reason.
o Secondly, all females must have cleavage and excellent tans with plenty of make up on their faces.
o Also, the set must be at least 10x more colorful than its American/British counterpart.
o Oh, and for the reality show clones, there is almost always a porn star involved.
- Once more I must comment on the weather: Apparently the area of Oviedo, which supports palm trees and cacti by the way, is the “cold region” of Spain.
- The letter “D” is incapable of surviving in between two vowels in a word. Therefore, words like “pescado,” “robado,” and “quitado” turn into “pescao,” “robao,” and “quitao.” Those poor neglected Ds.
- Everyone who is anyone in Spain knows that Pierce Brosnan and Harrison Fords are the biggest hotties on earth, or as Maria would say, “Ay Titis!!!”
- Bagpipes are NOT just a Scottish thing and anyone who tells you otherwise is a filthy liar.
- It is very uncool to smile for photos. The more angry and/or bored you look, the better.
- In the bathroom, having a seat on the toilet is optional. Bides however, are essential.
- My rectangular green and purple glasses are a very conservative, demure, and entirely ordinary.
- A sprinkle of rain is grounds for not showing up for class “due to inclement weather.”
- Umbrella etiquette: When passing someone on the sidewalk, which is always very narrow, the taller person (usually the male, but in my case usually me) is to lift their umbrella up while the shorter pedestrian ducks down as to not bump umbrellas. This is due to the fact that most females cannot successfully walk on dampened ground with heels and must remain on the sidewalk at all times.
1 comment:
Really funny. Great education for the common people and that is what you wanted to learn. Good for you. I am doing well. I will see Kathy and Bob March 13th when I pick them up at the airport and we go to Tallahassee to see Tom, Terri and the kids in the play and talk and have fun
God Bless you and take care of you and keep you safe. Love Grandma Audrey
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